R.I.P. Duly

This week my great Uncle Duly Morris passed away in Washington. I have been living here in Idaho for 10 years now and it has been bothering me that I have not been able to spend time with most of my family. I heard from another relative a few weeks ago that Duly was not doing to well and I told myself to make sure I visited him the next time I got to Washington. It is to late for that now. I do need to make sure this spring and summer I do make time to go to Washington and visit as many family members as I can. I am working on putting together a photo book of family members with photos that I take over the coarse of the year 2012 and get it printed to have a record of my family. I hope to be able to make this a yearly tradition from now on. We will see how that works out this year.

New era - Day 6

What a difference a day makes. Yesterday was a horrible day. I was stressed out to the max all day. It was the worst day so far. I have never wanted a cigarette as bad as I did yesterday. Today I felt much better. I still want a smoke, but that urge was much easier to control today. We also went to downtown Caldwell tonight to see the Christmas light displays. If you are in the Caldwell Idaho area I suggest you take some time to check out the displays.

New era - Day 5

Today I think is going to be a long shitty day. My stress level is just about maxed out. I am wound tighter than a watch spring and feel like I am about to explode. Today I am really questioning my reasons for wanting to quit smoking. I am sticking to my guns and doing everything I can to not give in to the urges, but it is going to be hard today. This really sucks. I put on a fresh patch and have already had more lozenges than normal. If I can make it through this day hopefully tomorrow will be easier.

A new era - Day 4

Well I missed the eclipse last night. It was mostly cloudy here and I was not feeling well so I went to bed. I intended to get up and check to see if I could see anything, but I did not. Yesterday seemed to be the worst day so far for me. I was wound tight and had a very short temper. Everything the dogs did annoyed me more than it should have. I am feeling much better today. I went to the hardware store today and bought myself a couple of new motion sensor porch lights. I have wanted this type of porch light for a while now and decided today was a good day to get them. I installed them and will see how they work. The only bad part was that there was a woman smoking right outside the exit door. The smoke hit me as soon as I walked out the door and I wanted to grab the cigarette out of her hand and finish it. I didn't and walked quickly past her and out to my truck and headed on my way

New era - Day 3

I am flipping pissed off today. I am spending most of my time right now just trying to resist the urge to have a smoke. What has me so pissed off is that I let myself get to this point. I let the addiction to tobacco have control of my life and did not even realize just how much control it had until now. I have just one constant thought in my head and that is my brain telling me to have a smoke and i will feel better. The patches and lozenges are helping with the nicotine cravings, but not so much with the habit of smoking.
I will continue to resist these urges, because I am going to take back control of my life.
i know that the tobacco companies bump up the potency of cigarettes to make them more addictive to keep their customers buying their product even when the government uses that addiction to cash in by raising sales taxes on tobacco which makes quitting that much harder, but I am the one to blame for my addiction. No one made me start using tobacco. I made the choice so many years ago to start smoking and i must make the decision now to stop.

A new era day 2

I woke up at 4:30 this morning. The dogs wanted out so I got up. The snow was coming down in big flakes. I was afraid i would be seriously craving a smoke, but it was not that bad. I do want a cigarette, but I still do not need one. I am finding that I have to push the desire out of my head however. every time I start to do something part of me says lets have a smoke before we start that. I thought that by today the cravings would be stronger than they are. Thankfully they are still quite manageable.
The nicotine patch and lozenges are doing their job. The first couple of lozenges were awful. I did not like the taste of the Cherry flavored lozenges at all, but today i am starting to get used to the taste. I have a big supply of chewing gum as well as lots of chores around the house to keep me occupied so I think things will go well.

Beginning of a new era

I have struggled with Tobacco addiction for most of the last 30 years. I have quit using Tobacco many times in the past and have always eventually ended up back to it. Now that I have 3 grand children to keep up with it is apparent that i must get into much better shape. 2 months ago I quit chewing Tobacco. THe first week was rough, and I ended up smoking a lot more than I had been, but I was able to stick with it and no longer have a desire for chewing tobacco. Today I am giving up cigarettes. This is going to be hard to do, but I have 2 weeks off work for the holidays so I have less stress to deal with right now so that will help. I also stocked up on Nicotine patches and lozenges to help with the cravings. So far I am doing quite well and am not experiencing unbearable cravings. We will see how I fair over the next few days and weeks. This will not be easy, but I believe that this time I am really ready to quit. I hope I still feel that way next week.